Wednesday, March 11, 2009

For the Time Being...

My teachers, after reading my blog, asked me, or accused me, I am not sure, that why am I so diplomatic?

I beg your pardon if any of my teachers felt hurt after reading my blog. I never have any diplomacy or if I put it in this way-hypocrisy- toward you. I know that there is no need to be diplomatic with you, because you are so near to me, that it won’t take too long for you to understand me. I respect you. I care for you.

But still you are right. I am diplomatic. This diplomatic stand that I took is toward my perspective about the world.

I feel immense freedom in writing until the first rewriting of the script. After that I am not free. No one is free. The dangers are not far from us. They are near, very near. Especially, if you are one who is concerned about the socio- cultural environment, in which that one is living. Then definitely you are in trouble, for the danger is just a breath time away, looking for even a very singly step taken against it, to crush. Wondering in what nightmare you are? You are in Kerala,in India, God’s own country!

Now let me explain the cause for my diplomatic stand. The root cause is somewhat like a psychological exercise to mould my self, fit for enduring life, in this place. Just that and nothing else! For I can't stand with those who believe in despotism and blood shed. I can’t be with hatred. I can’t be with cruelty. I can’t be with the barbarians.

I want to be with truth, with love, with humanity. In a place where the former group has the rule and the later has the sufferance, I can’t be with both. This leads myself to be in the roads of diplomacy.

Because, in me, I have the courage to fight, power to support the poor and suffering and love to make myself available to all. I just want the right opportunity to begin. Otherwise, the barbarism is so strong that it can crush me like a fruit bee. Don’t you think, I am right?

If and only if I have the ground to stand, I can hold the ensign of truth, humanity and love. I am searching for that ground. I have ardent faith in God, not as an omnipotent but as a holding ground of truth and love.

Here I think it would be better to conclude that diplomacy itself is my stand for the time being and literature my weapon. I am sure that I can find my God, at the right time, and at the right place. For as I said, that ground, which I want to use to end my diplomacy about the existing social vices, is –God, my God. Thus will this piece of writing be a prophecy.

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