Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Life and War

For a moment, mind halts from its race. It turns quickly back. It stares at me. “Why did you do this?”—it asks. “Why did you make your life a place for permanent agony; constant conflicts, a battlefield?” The questions seem to echo through my skin and through each of the bones that gives me the thought of permanence and the classical solace of a structure. I look for an answer. Then find there is no answer, as always happened with me. In order to dilute the situation, to be attentive, or at least as an attempt to prove myself truthful to the human community, I invented a way—I decided to give a justification.

It would be easy to deal with something complicated, full of unpremeditated urgency, like life, when it is conceived as war; a battle for survival: I said.

And there in the backdrop of that thought, reined a fear—the fear of being caught in the game of make belief, in the war. Because like life, the war too, is a complicated system of things with the only surety in offer—the binary of victory or failure. On the other hand, in life, the assumed results could be on the half way or in the territory alien to the ordinariness of human perception—in between the binary. It is a space between victory and loss, between good and bad, between vague and the vivid. And therefore, in order to less complicate my perception, I thought of playing with it in the realm of binary, to conceive life as war.

And in such a battle, it is often usual forgetting who we are and where we are intended to. But there are people who remind us of our missions, of those dreams that we think we have already lost. They remind us that the dreams are not yet all lost, but the distance that we feel ourselves separated from them, is just another way of learning the significance of having a dream. In my life there are many, for God’s grace, like my Tia Terri, who remind me of what I am, always fills me with confidence, courage to move forward, and by her slightest reminders I am always brought back to my real path. But there is another one, who I have not acknowledged for a long time for his kindest attention towards my works of art: Jingle.Jingle has awarded me as THE MOST PERFECT POET and THE MOST CONFIDENT POET, some days past itself however; I postponed its publication in my blog page due to many reasons. But I feel now is the time. Thank you Jingle for the award that you bestowed upon me. Apologies for delaying the acknowledgement.


A said...

Congrats on the awards :-)

Terri said...

Congratulations! You deserve this award because you of your excellent poetry. I look forward to the day when I can go to the book store and pick up a book chocked full of your poems.

Anu Lal said...

Thanks Agnes and Tia, for being with me in this very special occassion.