Remembering Calvary | May 3

La Madonna della Pietà Our Lady of Piety

Whenever I become aware of the love that Jesus has shown towards me during his Passion my eyes tear up. I feel an overwhelming sadness in my heart for all the moments which I had lost in receiving God in the Eucharist, for all the moments when I disowned Him just like Peter, the apostle. Still, He loved me, He loves me, and without any inhibition, He takes on his cross and walks to Calvary, for me. His mother, our Blessed Mother, observes, and watches, as this event unfolds in front of her eyes. It is her Son who is walking to His death shouldering the very instrument of torture that would cause Him His death. This is Jesus, the one who is shouldering all the sins of the world. He is the son of that woman. Yes, she also does not complain even when her son is led to His death.

The walk to death is painful already. The young man of 33 years was beaten, taunted, spit at, mocked, and jeered at. She watches all of this and remains by his side, till the end, in silence. She let her son love the world, the way only He can, by sacrificing even His life. This Death is not a defeat. It’s a victory that Christ won for us.

A short video clip from The Passion of Christ movie is circulating on the Internet. It is the scene where Barabbas was freed by the Roman governor and Jesus was waiting his turn to be crucified. Barabbas comes out and looks at Jesus. There is a moment of change in his eyes as he sees Jesus in front of him. The expression is beautifully captured. A talk was played in sync with the video in the clip. I do not have the name of the speaker. But the message was striking. “We are Barabbas,” it said.

It is to free all of us from the clutches of sin that Jesus died on the Cross. The sacrifice of blood was required to save humanity from its sins. Barabbas was supposed to be put to death on that day. But Jesus took death upon himself, releasing a sinner through his crucifixion, similar to His Saving Grace in our lives. Barabbas was a murderer. There were attempts to call him a revolutionary, and he led a Jewish uprising against the Roman occupation of Israel. Perhaps, it was true. For whatever purpose it may be, as a violent revolutionary, he had taken the lives of other people. That is why Jesus is the true revolutionary, because He does not fight evil people, He fights the evil in people, their sinfulness.

We can be certain that Jesus is fighting evil in the deep recesses of our being. But He doesn’t do that by unleashing havoc in our being. He awaits our commitment too, asking us to open up to the Light that He is. He doesn’t break in. He knocks on the door of our mind and awaits our footsteps just like the apostle Peter. The apostle Peter went to one of his friends’ houses after getting freed from imprisonment by an angel of the Lord. He knocked on the door. When a servant asked who it was, he said, it was him. The servant was too excited to hear Peter’s voice and got herself busy informing the others in the house that Peter was standing outside their house. All the while the apostle Peter patiently waited for the servant to open the door. When they finally opened the door, he told them the good news of his release and went away to meet his other brethren. Jesus would wait outside so that we could let Him in. He is not violent, and won’t break the door. We will let Him into our lives only if we have faith in Him. It is also a choice we make, whether we are with Him or against Him.

It’s not possible to ignore Jesus. That look in his eyes, the love in those eyes, keeps pulling me in towards Him. Even when my life was falling apart, I trusted that it must be part of His plan and therefore, it must be good. Only deep patience will allow us to watch the Glory of God at the end of our trials and tribulations. It was our Blessed Mother, Our Lady of Grace at Kreupasanam, who helped me go through the chaos of my life with patience. Having patience means having faith in God. It's a sign of faith. I can tell that my faith also comes from God. I am not the agency that in any way, controls or manages to bring about faith in my life. It was a direct intervention from God.

I thank God for my faith. I thank God for the patience he crowned me with, even though I lack any credit for cultivating such a quality in me. Now, I desire my faith to go deeper. I pray for that purpose. I also pray for you to have faith in God and trust Him with patience that He will take care of all types of chaos in your life.