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Showing posts from November 13, 2011

(Contd.) Aiming the Impossible: An Artist's Memoir

V “Prakash Pacha is dead!” “Artist Pacha passed away.” I visualized these headlines in my mind. One was more proximate, the first headline. The second seemed much far away; the artist, which I could never be.
Though the visualization itself had no material grounding and just a hypothetical exercise in order to find an answer to a question that never existed, the process of imagining these titles gave me some sort of satisfaction. Peace. But then an acute sense of tragedy overwhelmed me. I was the tragedy. If I die now, my death would be a suicide. And suicides would be reported as ‘suicides’ not “death” or “passed away”, moreover, which news paper would cover my death. I was nothing, which I still am, for that matter. The sense of this tragic nothingness pushed me even harder than my genitor.
“What are you saying? Are you hoping God would help you? Then spread your hands and wait; let me see who would come to help you.” My ears never rang, but that day.
My self had been divided into two;…